Sunday, June 05, 2016

What is it like to wear a retainer?

First, you must be thinking, what the hell is she talking about? What retainer? Isn't that some kind of obscene fee you pay someone in advance, like those blood-sucking attorneys, when you wish to secure or keep their services and then snap your fingers and they run helter-skelter to carry out all your clandestine affaris? Ah hahh!!! No, my dear. The retainer i am talking about here is that fugly something one places in the mouth with a wire across the front of your teeth to keep them in place.

Now, how in the world did i come to have a retainer in my mouth uaskme. Long story short. I had a tooth infection, or was it gum infection? Gahhh... i got no freaking idea but that is not important anymore cos my then-life was so blardy fcked up that i got no time nor mood to even go get it checked. Fast forward say 3 years. Yes, 3 frigging years. The front tooth has gotten too loose for my liking. It has moved down on it own. Not only that, it has also angled outwards and threatened to drop off if no further attention is given, lol. 

What to do.... drove myself to the dentist's to have it checked. I actually went to one some time last year but was taken aback by his suggestion and of cos, the pengsan price tag also la. Was recommended to go get a bridge done. I was like, what the fuck. Why file down two perfect teeth left-right of the affected one just so to bond the fake in place. I cried in my mind for months, the thought nagging at me until the day i went to see another dentist. Die-die also i told him i want something that doesnt require killing off my 2 perfect teeth. 

That smartypants old fler said the simplest way is to extract it and wear a denture. LOLOL!!!! Marderrr.... as if i dont already know that. Abuthen, gimme a break la. It is a front tooth and like it or not, my self-esteem is at stake here. It's like i'd rather die than walk around with a gap in my face at night. Geeee.... i'd say there goes my sex life down the drain should i ever allow that to happen. Okok... no denture. 

Next, he said i can then consider a maryland bridge. And true enough, this is exactly what i had in mind all the time but didnt know it has a name to it. Now, what is a maryland bridge? It is still a denture, but with wings at the back of it which will then be bonded to the back of its two left-right friends. Tadaaa... like a permanent denture, one step short of getting a mini tooth implant. I am all for it. First, i need to wear a retainer to realign my spaced out teeth, close up the gap, and help the loose tooth get back up into the gums. 

And here i am, with a retainer. What is it like to wear a retainer? It feels weird. With a retainer on, you cant close your mouth with the upper and lower teeth touching. The wires on the retainer will be in between all the time. You cant eat with a retainer on also as food in the mouth will get stuck between the wires and also the space between the roof of the mouth and the plastic (is it plastic?) plate. I must remove it for meals and wear it again. Half the time, i end up at the restaurant wearing it and need to remove it there, lol. Extremely inconvenient aitelyu but i have mastered the art of flipping it off unnoticed. 

I avoid drinking hot coffee, hot tea, hot soup. Aisshh... forget about all the hot stuff la. I believe i have lost a few pounds due to  having to remove it for meals. Mar9lanfarn. Anyway, i have gotten used to wearing the retainer. As for speech, it sounds weird to me and all the "s" sound like "shh". There is slight pain from the pressure, especially once removed but that is negligible la. I'd say live with it la cos like it or not, i need to remove it like three times a day. The thing will remain in the mouth during sleep. In other words, wear it 24/7 minus meal time. For how long? He said for months. I'm okay with it cos honestly, i look better with it than without, and i can skip the bj sessions altogether, lolol.....

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