We shall start counting today

10

Can you all imagine that? Only 10 days to go, and Malcolm will be sleeping beside me and i'll officially be labeled a cow again. Doing nothing except eat and breastfeed. These few days been rather tiring for me. I dont know if the days are moving on too fast or i'm moving around too slow. I seem to take ages just finishing up something.

My balance is a lil bit off and i keep bumping my hips into table/cupboard/god knows what else corners. I'm getting bruises and that hurts, knn. After i do it on the floors, i feel so out of breath and have to sit down and rest. Cant do anything else after that, damn tiring. I still havent taken any pics of my tummy. Have to wait till hubby gets home in a few days time.

Gordon's turned cranky and clingy. This is the first time i've seen him having separation anxiety. I cant leave him even for a short while. He'll cry for me when he sense that i've gone out to buy some stuffs from a nearby shop without him. He's also been having nightmares these few nights. He'd wake up from his sleep suddenly, sit up in bed abruptly, start thrashing around and scream and cry out "mama, mama... mama"; like searching around for me, feeling very lost and insecure, even though i'm just right beside him.

There's nothing much i can do to pacify him or calm him down except to hold him close to me. Even so, he'd try to wriggle away only to come back to my arms for comfort until he falls asleep again. The same scenario repeats itself a few times in a night. Since i'm not getting much sleep at all these days as i need to pee ever so often, i just put my arms around him and hug him as he sleeps. This is just so that he doesnt feel empty should he wake up suddenly. The warmth of my body will assure him that i'm right there beside him.

I hope that he'll be able to cope with only papa when i go to the hospital to have Malcolm. I can see how he pines for papa also these few days that hubby's not around. The other night, after we spoke to papa over the phone on loudspeaker, he cried for a hour before finally succumbing to sleep. It tears my heart into a thousand pieces just knowing how much he'll miss having me at home, crying his lungs out for me.

I pray everything's gonna go well like it did the last time i had Gordon. Hope to go in early next Thursday morning, and back home with Malcolm by Saturday noon. Dont really like long hospital stays. Moreover, i know Gordon would want me back as soon as possible also. And hopefully no headache like last time. Nothing beats sleeping in one's own bed with my own things.

Malcolm's squirming a lot as there's not much space left for him to practise his World Cup kicks. Braxton Hicks contractions are a norm for me, and so are his daily hiccups and my tummy itches. I still havent packed my hospital bag yet. I'd better not procrastinate any longer and go write out a list after this.