AAAAAHHHHH!! Biawak in my toilet-bowl!!
This is something for you to laugh at over the weekend. I couldnt post this yesterday as TmNut's main cable to my housing area conked out. And mobile posting would take forever.
This happened at around 4pm yesterday evening.
A client of mine came by my house for her first Colema Therapy session (next post, k. Read the story first). After explaining to her the functions of the equipment and how to use it, I assured her that i'll be right outside the toilet to guide her along the way.
Colema Therapy home unit
The milkman came and i walked out to collect my milk. My client gave a loud cry and ran out of the toilet. She told me that there's a biawak (monitor lizard) inside the toilet bowl. I thought she meant inside the toilet. So, I ran to take a look. I looked up, looked down, left, right.... no biawak leh. She swore out that it's right inside the toilet bowl. I took a peek and sure enough, just in time to see the biawak, head, hands, body, legs, tail, spots and all; make a U-turn inside the toilet-bowl and up the S-trap again. I think it's about 1 foot long.
S-trap toilet-bowl
At first, my client thought that it was a piece of un-flushed shyte floating back up. But then, the piece of shyte became bigger, black and yellow-spotted, grew a moving head with two beady eyes that stared at her with tongue flicking away. And even attempted to lunge out at her. AAAAARRRRRHHHHHH!! Very Steven Spielberg's movie in the making, man.
What would you have done in her place, you tell me. I can only imagine her shock just now. Pants down and bare-assed; with a biawak squirming beneath her. Aiyo.... if only she ran out half-naked. That would surely have made my day, ROTFLMFAO!! I nearly died choking back my laughter.
This i want to ask of you leh, my fellow readers. If you were the one inside the toilet, what would your first reaction be? Got time to pull up your pants before running out or not? Horrified?
I quickly ran into my bedroom and grabbed my digital camera. It's rare to catch one inside the toilet-bowl, but that stupid biawak wouldn't reappear.... KNN. How to believe if i hadnt seen it with my two eyes? I desperately wanted to put the picture up together with this post but sorry lah.... Moreover, i dare not dig around the toilet-bowl in case that biawak jumped out at me. I poured a whole new bottle of Clorox in there and flushed it down. I even finished it off with a huge pail of water for good measure.
I regretted doing that. Should have just closed the toilet door and waited for it to come out. Then i can snap a pic of it. But then, it's only natural that i reacted that way, right??
Monitor Lizard - photo source
Closest to what i saw
No amount of coaxing would get my client to go back inside. She left and promised to come back later this afternoon.
Now, all i can hope for is that it wont come back up the piping and make a go for myass backside when i use the toilet. What would i tell the doctor if i got bitten by the biawak, hah? What if the biawak wouldnt let go of my backside? Die, man.... sure die.
I think this was what happened yesterday. It started raining at about 2.30pm if i'm not wrong. The biawak, looking for shelter, must have climbed in through the toilet window. Wet from the rain, missed its footing and fell straight into the toilet-bowl. The toilet-bowl, wet, of a smooth surface thus slippery; obviously made life very difficult for the biawak. Instead, in it went and hid up the S-trap where there's air for breathing.
Toilet - note the window on top of the WC
With the lighting on and coupled with lots of movement in the toilet, it came out to investigate..... It must've been thinking; "Ahhh.... there's light at the end of the tunnel". Stuck its head out of the S-trap and saw a big fat backside and my client looking at it; frightened the shyte out of it and ran up the S-trap again. Frankly speaking, i dont know who's more frightened; my client or the biawak? Hahahahaha.
Being chinese, i quickly called my sis up and asked her for theillegal 4-ekor bookie private betting centre's number. I asked the bookie executive for the biawak's and toilet-bowl's 4-ekor number. She said: "875 for biawak. Toilet-bowl, dont have. Got toilet only; 268.
I'm feeling lucky. So, if you're feeling lucky too, you know what to do, lol.
This happened at around 4pm yesterday evening.
A client of mine came by my house for her first Colema Therapy session (next post, k. Read the story first). After explaining to her the functions of the equipment and how to use it, I assured her that i'll be right outside the toilet to guide her along the way.
Colema Therapy home unit
The milkman came and i walked out to collect my milk. My client gave a loud cry and ran out of the toilet. She told me that there's a biawak (monitor lizard) inside the toilet bowl. I thought she meant inside the toilet. So, I ran to take a look. I looked up, looked down, left, right.... no biawak leh. She swore out that it's right inside the toilet bowl. I took a peek and sure enough, just in time to see the biawak, head, hands, body, legs, tail, spots and all; make a U-turn inside the toilet-bowl and up the S-trap again. I think it's about 1 foot long.
S-trap toilet-bowl
At first, my client thought that it was a piece of un-flushed shyte floating back up. But then, the piece of shyte became bigger, black and yellow-spotted, grew a moving head with two beady eyes that stared at her with tongue flicking away. And even attempted to lunge out at her. AAAAARRRRRHHHHHH!! Very Steven Spielberg's movie in the making, man.
What would you have done in her place, you tell me. I can only imagine her shock just now. Pants down and bare-assed; with a biawak squirming beneath her. Aiyo.... if only she ran out half-naked. That would surely have made my day, ROTFLMFAO!! I nearly died choking back my laughter.
This i want to ask of you leh, my fellow readers. If you were the one inside the toilet, what would your first reaction be? Got time to pull up your pants before running out or not? Horrified?
I quickly ran into my bedroom and grabbed my digital camera. It's rare to catch one inside the toilet-bowl, but that stupid biawak wouldn't reappear.... KNN. How to believe if i hadnt seen it with my two eyes? I desperately wanted to put the picture up together with this post but sorry lah.... Moreover, i dare not dig around the toilet-bowl in case that biawak jumped out at me. I poured a whole new bottle of Clorox in there and flushed it down. I even finished it off with a huge pail of water for good measure.
I regretted doing that. Should have just closed the toilet door and waited for it to come out. Then i can snap a pic of it. But then, it's only natural that i reacted that way, right??
Monitor Lizard - photo source
Closest to what i saw
No amount of coaxing would get my client to go back inside. She left and promised to come back later this afternoon.
Now, all i can hope for is that it wont come back up the piping and make a go for my
I think this was what happened yesterday. It started raining at about 2.30pm if i'm not wrong. The biawak, looking for shelter, must have climbed in through the toilet window. Wet from the rain, missed its footing and fell straight into the toilet-bowl. The toilet-bowl, wet, of a smooth surface thus slippery; obviously made life very difficult for the biawak. Instead, in it went and hid up the S-trap where there's air for breathing.
Toilet - note the window on top of the WC
With the lighting on and coupled with lots of movement in the toilet, it came out to investigate..... It must've been thinking; "Ahhh.... there's light at the end of the tunnel". Stuck its head out of the S-trap and saw a big fat backside and my client looking at it; frightened the shyte out of it and ran up the S-trap again. Frankly speaking, i dont know who's more frightened; my client or the biawak? Hahahahaha.
Being chinese, i quickly called my sis up and asked her for the
I'm feeling lucky. So, if you're feeling lucky too, you know what to do, lol.
11 comments:
oiyo! shud tangkap and sembelih ler! make sup! good for health! better than viagra! lol
you must've tried it. tell me, what does it taste like, better than viagra? yess? no?
Biawak!!! I used to catch biawak when I was small and then kill and skin it. After that, I cooked with kunyit. Yum...Like chicken, only better. My mom said when cooking must close the kuali or else the cicaks in the house will revenge and berak on them (for cooking their cousin Bia).
Then, hor, be careful 'cos biawak's bite is very poisonous as their teeth breed bacterias. Dun play-play, wei.
OMGD...I would have run out of the house and hoping I wouldn't trip on the pants around my ankles!
(I am a REAL sissy like that.) E-eeee...
Great & funny story, though! lol (`O`)
5xmom - dats y i quickly went n pour clorox down the bowl, lol.
mensa - scary eh...
AH EE!
You shouldn't have poured Clorox leh.. Mum pitied the little "sei kiok seh".. Like the Malay proverb, "Bagai jatuh ditimpa tangga"..
Wouldn't it be nice if you were to call the fire brigade?
Hi Second time reading this hilarious story, got over shock and now, I actually felt sorry for the frightened biawak. ..lol.. I am sure he was terrified!
I already scare of lizard, if I see biawak, I think I'll faint!
BTW, 5xmom, you eat biawak??? Yaks!
chenyeng87 - next, i'll ask ur ah ma to come and take the poor fella back as pet.
mensa - i dunno
shoppingmum - ya lor, terror ah.
Now that I've read about it, I'm so afraid to go the toilet. Nanti scared one come out and bite my backside! Hhahahahha!
simmie - yeah!! watch out for your backside, kekekekeke
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