How I Married My Man
I turn the TV on at 6pm every evening when the chinese drama series, Vigilante Force, comes on. Somehow, all those Hong Kong Drama Series must have some kinda tragic love story to their tale. I guess people are suckers when it comes to tragic lovey-dovey stuffs like this... yes... no?? For me, no... too predictable; no oomph whatsoever. But then Gordon likes to watch the advertisements, so, endure i must.
In the final last 10 minutes of that Monday's episode in which the Heroine married her Hero at the hospital ward and then had to watch him enter the OT made me oh so wanna blog this. Isnt it amazing that people can find so many creative ways to get married.
I wanna blog down how mine went. Yeah, blog it down in case i also forgot how i married my man. And close friends of mine whom till this day, have always wanted to dig this out of me via all those emails, phonecalls and reunion lunches but failed, I'm so in the mood to tell all now. So, go make yourself a cup of tea, come back and read this long post.
And to my nieces reading this now, this is gonna be an eye opener for you all also. I'm sure you gals have always itched to know my wedding story, eh; but too shy to ask.
So, here goes:
Both hubby and i detest fakey chinese wedding dinner parties. Eat, drink, get high, expletives, karaoke.... what more when half the time, we dont even get to eat nor sit down at the table. Why? Coz we're expected to go round the restaurant with the old folks; greeting and thanking the we-dont-even-know-who-the-heck-they-are relatives for coming to our did-we-invite-you wedding dinner party.
Chinese wedding dinner parties are held the traditional way to show respect to the elders and to proof how well-off, successful, generous, lavish, bla, bla, bla the host can be. The grander it is; like 50 or more tables, the more face you get, the more they want to get invited to. Therefore, knowing our folks only too well, our ideal wedding dinner party is not to have one at all since we cant please everyone. Save all the hassle of getting all worked up for the sake of everyone's pleasure but not ours.
We've been co-habiting for like forever, therefore, getting married (legally & officially speaking), coupled with our erratic work schedule, hardly has a place in our busy time-table. But with my mum around, you dont really need Outlook to remind you to get married. So it came a day many years later, when i told him that if i ever get pregnant and we're still not registered by the time Gordon's due, he'll take my surname.
That did it. We went to the National Registration Dept, submitted our details and had our celebrity mugshots displayed for all to scrutinise. We were given a date sometime 14 days later to return, produce two witnesses and to sign the Wedding Certificate.
I called up a childhood friend of mine, informing her and her hubby to be at the National Registration Dept on that particular date to witness us signing the papers. Happily they agreed. Well, I dont have many friends who are free on a workday. She's of a very rare species. Moreover, most of them are either overseas, KL or dunno where... just not Ipoh. Now you all know why i can sit home and blog all day.
On the morning of the signing ceremony; i gave my dear friend a reminder call to be there on time. Apparently, they were already there before we arrived, lol. Even more kancheong than the both of us. My girlfriend misinterpreted and thought they were invited to witness (verb) the signing process; not as the witnesses (noun). Imagine their shock when they found out that there were no one else there that day except for the four of us. No friends, relatives, nothing.... not even a ring or flowers to mark the occasion.
After we signed the papers, with them as the witnesses of course, we adjourned to Ming Court (a dim sum restaurant in Ipoh; not Ming Court Hotel, k) for Dim Sum. My dear friend asked me what would we have done that day should they failed to turn up and there were no one else. We just told them simply that anyone would do. We'd just pluck two Ali-Ah-Fook-Kaping-Sapling who just happened to be there that day.
I digress:
That same day at the National Registration Dept, apart from us, sure enough, an entourage of Indians trooped in later. In full gear, bride, groom, relatives, video, band and all; decorated in full technicolor... jingle jangle all the way in, lol. Even the malay fella (what do you call that fella who solemnised my ceremony ah?) couldnt believe his eyes when he saw the stark difference in ratio; 4:40??
Anyway, back to the restaurant. Now that we're Legally Married, my friends were very interested in our plans for the big bash. Owing to our celebrity status (i might blog about the celebrity status when i have the mood next time, k), they thought we are definitely gonna hold a the-must-get-invited-to-the-ultimate-kiasuest-party-of-the-year sort of thing. They were totally dumbfounded when they heard that there wont be any at all. What about the parents? No leh, they dont know yet. They will when we get home after dim sum, lol.
First, no ring, now, no party? How can? By the way, they had a FANTABULOUSLY HUGE wedding dinner party to mark the occasion. Classic KIASUISM style.
The irony part is that i live with my hubby's family since we got back from KL. They treated me as though i'm invisible (not bad, just invisible; dont exist), not that i minded anyway. And i greet them old folks aunty and uncle; even after we've signed the papers. To them, both of us are not married yet (the chinese will understand this, right?), thus not recognised in the chinese traditions, customarily speaking. I should have checked that out with my lawyer beforehand... cheh.
We were once invited to one of hubby's dunno-what-relative's wedding dinner. Some blardy kaypoh came by our table and sat down for a chat with his mom. She asked who i was and his mom replied (with some kinda look on her face) that i'm his son's friend. "FRIEND!!" You hear me?? I'M HIS FRIEND!! CCB. I bet you she did it on purpose, within earshot... KNN. See how BLARDY CONFUCKSTIPATED people can be at times? I told hubby later (because he happens to be smoking outside the air-conditioned non-smoking restaurant then) and he just laughed at it. I'll leave my mood to your imagination, k.
A week later after the incident, i went out for dinner with some of my family members. When i got back, he asked me where i went and i told him. He then asked why wasnt he invited and you know what my answer was? "Darling, it's a FAMILY dinner and we're FRIENDS ONLY". I laughed like hell; he wasnt amused. So, whenever it suited me, i'll say, "Excuse me, but we're friends only, k".
I never went to another of his relative's customary wedding/funeral/birthday/house-warming/full-moon /wateva since then.
Fast forward a few years. I got pregnant. Sometime towards the end of my 3rd trimester, I was out having supper with hubby when i asked him this. I told him beforehand it's a joke and he's NOT to be offended in any way:
"We're married. Legally, i'm your wife. I still greet your old folks aunty and uncle. Gordon's our baby and MY son. So, what does he call them when i bring him back from the hospital ah? Aunty and uncle, right?? I'm your friend only, woh, remember. Not their DIL, you know. Surely it's only appropriate for Gordon to call them Aunty and Uncle also until I'm customarily recognised into the family, hoh? Confusing, right?"
No, he didnt answer. Where got answer, you tell me.
Anyway, fast forward somemore. I finally got home from the hospital. I havent even stepped foot into the house and Gordon was happily snatched from my arms by a very kancheong (anxious) Aunty. Yeah, and she was saying and grinning from ear to ear all the time: "Wah, come home to Mama (grandma in cantonese) lor".
I, couldnt be bothered; in fact i was so glad that she's happy. Of course she's happy, Gordon sports a KKC leh. I had a MASSIVE headache then, a side-effect of the spinal drug i had during Gordon's delivery. Everything went smoothly after i had Gordon. Was treated like a queen during my confinement month. So, you see the chinese community. Everybody loves Boys. My life's been bliss since Gordon's arrival.
Then comes the full-moon part. She (still aunty) came into my room one afternoon and asked me about the full-moon thing and how i'd like it done. WAH! I get to give an opinion too, you know. Out of respect, I told her to do it in whatever way she wish. She then said the unbelievable: "On that day, i'll call some relatives over and you both (meaning both hubby and I) can jum-cha (tea-ceremony) to them lor." Can i say no?? Yes?? No??
Somehow, i think Gordon changed her and she felt that she just had to do something aboutit my status. I didnt protest. That's how i got my DIL status. Gordon's full-moon is also the day i'm customarily married into the family. Got it? I already married my hubby a few years back. Together with hubby, I took the opportunity to jum-cha to my parents when i took Gordon back for the customary fullmoon visit. No relatives invited from my side of the family.
For my cooperation and Oscar-deserving performance; I got plenty of gold jewellery typical of chinese customs though.... eeewww. But then again, i already have my trophy; Gordon, hehe. We just went round distributing fullmoon packages to some close friends. We left the relative part to the in-laws - YEAH! They are now officially IN-LAWS.... or out-laws... lol.
Usually, fullmoon's a big hooha. Especially when it happens to be the first Grandson. So, definitely everyone's expecting at least a few tables for the monumental event, right?? At least a fullmoon-cum-wedding sort of thing. It's somewhat compulsory or so they thought.
Party?? Yes, there was one. Still not very satisfied, MIL decided she just had to have a few tables for kaypoh neighbours and those close relatives. We finally obliged. That was when Gordon turned 1. We had 5 tables; lunch at a nearby chinese restaurant. We insisted it's only for Gordon's 1st birthday with a Mickey Mouse cake bigger than the birthday boy. She didnt protest. So, in the end, everybody got their cake and eat it too. And we all lived happily ever after.
To summarise it all:
The only memorable event to our wedding was when we went for our wedding portraits session. We took Gordon along. Yess. I was already pregnant then; already into my 2nd trimester. I told hubby one day that if we dont get our portraits taken then, i dont think i'll ever have the mood after Gordon's delivery. I might even be fugly and FAT. So, we went to the first studio in mind, set an appointment date, and got it done the very next day. We are for-your-information ultra lightning-fast decision makers.
No, tummy not showing yet then. I told Gordon to go to the back of my tummy and stay put there for the day and he did just that; amazing. In fact, more than half the people i knew dont even know i was pregnant though they suspected i looked somewhat different, lol. The fact was confirmed only after Gordon was born.
To date, many of my friends still cannot believe the fact that i will get hitched, become a mother, exclusively breastfeed Gordon and can stay at home 24/7.
Hope you all enjoyed my lil story and know me a lil more better after this.
In the final last 10 minutes of that Monday's episode in which the Heroine married her Hero at the hospital ward and then had to watch him enter the OT made me oh so wanna blog this. Isnt it amazing that people can find so many creative ways to get married.
I wanna blog down how mine went. Yeah, blog it down in case i also forgot how i married my man. And close friends of mine whom till this day, have always wanted to dig this out of me via all those emails, phonecalls and reunion lunches but failed, I'm so in the mood to tell all now. So, go make yourself a cup of tea, come back and read this long post.
And to my nieces reading this now, this is gonna be an eye opener for you all also. I'm sure you gals have always itched to know my wedding story, eh; but too shy to ask.
So, here goes:
Both hubby and i detest fakey chinese wedding dinner parties. Eat, drink, get high, expletives, karaoke.... what more when half the time, we dont even get to eat nor sit down at the table. Why? Coz we're expected to go round the restaurant with the old folks; greeting and thanking the we-dont-even-know-who-the-heck-they-are relatives for coming to our did-we-invite-you wedding dinner party.
Chinese wedding dinner parties are held the traditional way to show respect to the elders and to proof how well-off, successful, generous, lavish, bla, bla, bla the host can be. The grander it is; like 50 or more tables, the more face you get, the more they want to get invited to. Therefore, knowing our folks only too well, our ideal wedding dinner party is not to have one at all since we cant please everyone. Save all the hassle of getting all worked up for the sake of everyone's pleasure but not ours.
We've been co-habiting for like forever, therefore, getting married (legally & officially speaking), coupled with our erratic work schedule, hardly has a place in our busy time-table. But with my mum around, you dont really need Outlook to remind you to get married. So it came a day many years later, when i told him that if i ever get pregnant and we're still not registered by the time Gordon's due, he'll take my surname.
That did it. We went to the National Registration Dept, submitted our details and had our celebrity mugshots displayed for all to scrutinise. We were given a date sometime 14 days later to return, produce two witnesses and to sign the Wedding Certificate.
I called up a childhood friend of mine, informing her and her hubby to be at the National Registration Dept on that particular date to witness us signing the papers. Happily they agreed. Well, I dont have many friends who are free on a workday. She's of a very rare species. Moreover, most of them are either overseas, KL or dunno where... just not Ipoh. Now you all know why i can sit home and blog all day.
On the morning of the signing ceremony; i gave my dear friend a reminder call to be there on time. Apparently, they were already there before we arrived, lol. Even more kancheong than the both of us. My girlfriend misinterpreted and thought they were invited to witness (verb) the signing process; not as the witnesses (noun). Imagine their shock when they found out that there were no one else there that day except for the four of us. No friends, relatives, nothing.... not even a ring or flowers to mark the occasion.
After we signed the papers, with them as the witnesses of course, we adjourned to Ming Court (a dim sum restaurant in Ipoh; not Ming Court Hotel, k) for Dim Sum. My dear friend asked me what would we have done that day should they failed to turn up and there were no one else. We just told them simply that anyone would do. We'd just pluck two Ali-Ah-Fook-Kaping-Sapling who just happened to be there that day.
I digress:
That same day at the National Registration Dept, apart from us, sure enough, an entourage of Indians trooped in later. In full gear, bride, groom, relatives, video, band and all; decorated in full technicolor... jingle jangle all the way in, lol. Even the malay fella (what do you call that fella who solemnised my ceremony ah?) couldnt believe his eyes when he saw the stark difference in ratio; 4:40??
Anyway, back to the restaurant. Now that we're Legally Married, my friends were very interested in our plans for the big bash. Owing to our celebrity status (i might blog about the celebrity status when i have the mood next time, k), they thought we are definitely gonna hold a the-must-get-invited-to-the-ultimate-kiasuest-party-of-the-year sort of thing. They were totally dumbfounded when they heard that there wont be any at all. What about the parents? No leh, they dont know yet. They will when we get home after dim sum, lol.
First, no ring, now, no party? How can? By the way, they had a FANTABULOUSLY HUGE wedding dinner party to mark the occasion. Classic KIASUISM style.
The irony part is that i live with my hubby's family since we got back from KL. They treated me as though i'm invisible (not bad, just invisible; dont exist), not that i minded anyway. And i greet them old folks aunty and uncle; even after we've signed the papers. To them, both of us are not married yet (the chinese will understand this, right?), thus not recognised in the chinese traditions, customarily speaking. I should have checked that out with my lawyer beforehand... cheh.
We were once invited to one of hubby's dunno-what-relative's wedding dinner. Some blardy kaypoh came by our table and sat down for a chat with his mom. She asked who i was and his mom replied (with some kinda look on her face) that i'm his son's friend. "FRIEND!!" You hear me?? I'M HIS FRIEND!! CCB. I bet you she did it on purpose, within earshot... KNN. See how BLARDY CONFUCKSTIPATED people can be at times? I told hubby later (because he happens to be smoking outside the air-conditioned non-smoking restaurant then) and he just laughed at it. I'll leave my mood to your imagination, k.
A week later after the incident, i went out for dinner with some of my family members. When i got back, he asked me where i went and i told him. He then asked why wasnt he invited and you know what my answer was? "Darling, it's a FAMILY dinner and we're FRIENDS ONLY". I laughed like hell; he wasnt amused. So, whenever it suited me, i'll say, "Excuse me, but we're friends only, k".
I never went to another of his relative's customary wedding/funeral/birthday/house-warming/full-moon /wateva since then.
Fast forward a few years. I got pregnant. Sometime towards the end of my 3rd trimester, I was out having supper with hubby when i asked him this. I told him beforehand it's a joke and he's NOT to be offended in any way:
"We're married. Legally, i'm your wife. I still greet your old folks aunty and uncle. Gordon's our baby and MY son. So, what does he call them when i bring him back from the hospital ah? Aunty and uncle, right?? I'm your friend only, woh, remember. Not their DIL, you know. Surely it's only appropriate for Gordon to call them Aunty and Uncle also until I'm customarily recognised into the family, hoh? Confusing, right?"
No, he didnt answer. Where got answer, you tell me.
Anyway, fast forward somemore. I finally got home from the hospital. I havent even stepped foot into the house and Gordon was happily snatched from my arms by a very kancheong (anxious) Aunty. Yeah, and she was saying and grinning from ear to ear all the time: "Wah, come home to Mama (grandma in cantonese) lor".
I, couldnt be bothered; in fact i was so glad that she's happy. Of course she's happy, Gordon sports a KKC leh. I had a MASSIVE headache then, a side-effect of the spinal drug i had during Gordon's delivery. Everything went smoothly after i had Gordon. Was treated like a queen during my confinement month. So, you see the chinese community. Everybody loves Boys. My life's been bliss since Gordon's arrival.
Then comes the full-moon part. She (still aunty) came into my room one afternoon and asked me about the full-moon thing and how i'd like it done. WAH! I get to give an opinion too, you know. Out of respect, I told her to do it in whatever way she wish. She then said the unbelievable: "On that day, i'll call some relatives over and you both (meaning both hubby and I) can jum-cha (tea-ceremony) to them lor." Can i say no?? Yes?? No??
Somehow, i think Gordon changed her and she felt that she just had to do something about
For my cooperation and Oscar-deserving performance; I got plenty of gold jewellery typical of chinese customs though.... eeewww. But then again, i already have my trophy; Gordon, hehe. We just went round distributing fullmoon packages to some close friends. We left the relative part to the in-laws - YEAH! They are now officially IN-LAWS.... or out-laws... lol.
Usually, fullmoon's a big hooha. Especially when it happens to be the first Grandson. So, definitely everyone's expecting at least a few tables for the monumental event, right?? At least a fullmoon-cum-wedding sort of thing. It's somewhat compulsory or so they thought.
Party?? Yes, there was one. Still not very satisfied, MIL decided she just had to have a few tables for kaypoh neighbours and those close relatives. We finally obliged. That was when Gordon turned 1. We had 5 tables; lunch at a nearby chinese restaurant. We insisted it's only for Gordon's 1st birthday with a Mickey Mouse cake bigger than the birthday boy. She didnt protest. So, in the end, everybody got their cake and eat it too. And we all lived happily ever after.
To summarise it all:
The only memorable event to our wedding was when we went for our wedding portraits session. We took Gordon along. Yess. I was already pregnant then; already into my 2nd trimester. I told hubby one day that if we dont get our portraits taken then, i dont think i'll ever have the mood after Gordon's delivery. I might even be fugly and FAT. So, we went to the first studio in mind, set an appointment date, and got it done the very next day. We are for-your-information ultra lightning-fast decision makers.
No, tummy not showing yet then. I told Gordon to go to the back of my tummy and stay put there for the day and he did just that; amazing. In fact, more than half the people i knew dont even know i was pregnant though they suspected i looked somewhat different, lol. The fact was confirmed only after Gordon was born.
To date, many of my friends still cannot believe the fact that i will get hitched, become a mother, exclusively breastfeed Gordon and can stay at home 24/7.
Hope you all enjoyed my lil story and know me a lil more better after this.
11 comments:
Perhaps the next blog should be a "wat-if" story. Change this true story into a hypothetical one. Change the story from the point where when Gordon was born and he is not a boy but a girl. hehehehehe lol
Knock on wood, I didnt have this problem but I vaguely recalled that my aunty was like scolded and nagged by her MIL just becoz her first two babies are girls. MIL was so desperate for KKC that she dressed the girls up in boys' clothes and barred from wearing girls clothers. Fast forward, twenty yrs later, the girls dont wear skirts but pants everyday. hahahaha
Must go buy 4-digit today for KKC
>everybody got their cake and eat it too
Cute, Cute, story. Your writing style is unique! Great story..
It is very interesting. Lolz.
ipoh mali - eh, i tumpang ur 4-digit, k. i inspired u to go buy one woh. Wat's KKC's number?
mensa - i'm improving, eh.
crazy lobster - hope u enjoyed reading it, thx for dropping by.
9113. RM50 Big, RM50 small. win first prize. With that money, can buy semi D in Ipoh.
add another 50-50 to it. then can buy bungalow if win. dont wan nemore kaypoh neighbour breathing down my neck, lol.
I had my own experinece at the Registrar of Marriage. Was there early and the witnesses were like the Chinese wedding dinner guests. Customary to be late. So I just put the form on the counter for them to "process". The counter clerk stared at me, and angrily told me, "U letak salah tempat. U dont have much experience doing this, have you". My eyes were so wide opened that I regreted not replying, "yah, I have lots of experience as i get married almost every week". How much more stupid can these people be.
what makes u think yr new "bungalow" neighbours are not more kaypoh!!!!!
ipoh mali - i'll just electrocute them should they even come sniffing at my fence, lol
oh my fantabulous god.. *jaws dropped, searching for it now*
chenyeng - found it yet? wah tomolo mom's bday leh, ne celeb?
we had a be-early celebration liao.. somemore mom got tuition class tomorrow night.. maybe supper?
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