The "Mine's Better Than Yours" Syndrome
Malcolm, still a bit jaundiced since home from the hospital, hasnt been out naked sunbathing since last week. Not that it wont go off on its own without the sunrays though, but sunbathing him more frequently will hasten the the process. Reasons being, 1 - i've been sleep-deprived, so i wake up late in the morning, 2) it's been raining in the mornings i wake up early to do so, haze some more and 3) cant stand my blardy old 8-poh neighbour.
A typical happy morning out with Malcolm will have this typical conversation without fail.
She: Wah, still sunbathing him ah
Me: Ya lor, still a bit yellow mah
She: All my babies then dont have yellow one. (I dont know how many she's had and not interested to find out also) Your baby ah, very small leh. How many pounds woh?
Me: 6 pounds.
She: Kor-kor leh?
Me: 7 pounds.
She: Both also so small ah. Mine all 8 pounds and above. What brand milk powder you feeding him?
Me: He's breastfed, not on formula.
She: Enough milk for him or not, you so skinny? I hear him cry quite often.
Me: Enough.....
She: Did you breastfeed kor-kor last time?
Me: Yes, for 13 months. Then, he weaned-off on his own.
She: I breastfed mine all very long time. I've got so much milk that i even breastfed my neighbours kids last time..... Wah, still not yet cut Kor-kor's hair ah?
Me: No, keep until 6 yrs old, then only cut. (Cannot meh, cb.... tulan already)
She: Mine, all i shave botak. How can boys keep long hair one. Like girl only. (Teases Gordon in Mandarin but my boy gives her blank look and ignores her) Why he doesnt talk one? Mine all can talk by 1yr old. He's almost 3, hoh.
Me: He speaks English (you cant), cannot understand Mandarin. Dont speak the language at home.
She: Cannot like that one, Chinese all must understand Mandarin. Cannot only speak English with him. Mine all can speak Cantonese lah, Mandarin lah, Hokkien lah, blah.... blah.... blah....
Me: (I cuss damn well in ALL MAJOR LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS. Since when did i ask for child-upbringing advice from her?????????????????????) Done, i'm going back in, bye.
You all say i tulan or not after 5 minutes???? I dont know if she's deprived of attention or not, frankly speaking. She goes out to yak with the neighbours all the time. Husband's still alive and kicking (never spoken more than 3 sentences with him since i came back bout 5 yrs back). Lives with her daughter, SIL and Grandson. She's not exactly a lonely old lady, you know.
But, you know lah. I'm such a nice person, dont want to be sarcastic to her. Moreover, neighbours mah. Just ignore her most of the times, cannot help it. Even my in-laws cannot stand her snotty ways/talk.
Maybe i should contemplate breastfeeding Malcolm whilst we sunbathe naked tomorrow morning in her presence. That'll get her to shut up for good, or most likely, she'll tell me she used to walk around the neighbourhood breasfeeding her kids and all the other kids like that also.
A typical happy morning out with Malcolm will have this typical conversation without fail.
She: Wah, still sunbathing him ah
Me: Ya lor, still a bit yellow mah
She: All my babies then dont have yellow one. (I dont know how many she's had and not interested to find out also) Your baby ah, very small leh. How many pounds woh?
Me: 6 pounds.
She: Kor-kor leh?
Me: 7 pounds.
She: Both also so small ah. Mine all 8 pounds and above. What brand milk powder you feeding him?
Me: He's breastfed, not on formula.
She: Enough milk for him or not, you so skinny? I hear him cry quite often.
Me: Enough.....
She: Did you breastfeed kor-kor last time?
Me: Yes, for 13 months. Then, he weaned-off on his own.
She: I breastfed mine all very long time. I've got so much milk that i even breastfed my neighbours kids last time..... Wah, still not yet cut Kor-kor's hair ah?
Me: No, keep until 6 yrs old, then only cut. (Cannot meh, cb.... tulan already)
She: Mine, all i shave botak. How can boys keep long hair one. Like girl only. (Teases Gordon in Mandarin but my boy gives her blank look and ignores her) Why he doesnt talk one? Mine all can talk by 1yr old. He's almost 3, hoh.
Me: He speaks English (you cant), cannot understand Mandarin. Dont speak the language at home.
She: Cannot like that one, Chinese all must understand Mandarin. Cannot only speak English with him. Mine all can speak Cantonese lah, Mandarin lah, Hokkien lah, blah.... blah.... blah....
Me: (I cuss damn well in ALL MAJOR LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS. Since when did i ask for child-upbringing advice from her?????????????????????) Done, i'm going back in, bye.
You all say i tulan or not after 5 minutes???? I dont know if she's deprived of attention or not, frankly speaking. She goes out to yak with the neighbours all the time. Husband's still alive and kicking (never spoken more than 3 sentences with him since i came back bout 5 yrs back). Lives with her daughter, SIL and Grandson. She's not exactly a lonely old lady, you know.
But, you know lah. I'm such a nice person, dont want to be sarcastic to her. Moreover, neighbours mah. Just ignore her most of the times, cannot help it. Even my in-laws cannot stand her snotty ways/talk.
Maybe i should contemplate breastfeeding Malcolm whilst we sunbathe naked tomorrow morning in her presence. That'll get her to shut up for good, or most likely, she'll tell me she used to walk around the neighbourhood breasfeeding her kids and all the other kids like that also.
9 comments:
Damn beh tahan this kinda people.
wah.. so bloody 8 one leh.. your 8poh neighbour!
Really one KPC neighbour. Sure I will grin my teeth and show displeasant face already in front of these people.
Y yr nayber so damn 8 wan... hiyoh... ask all the 1001 questions....
abt the part she says got too much milk... Ask her hubby to go n drink oso lah.... cis! liddat oso must tell people.
ya ya, breastfeed in front of her, and ask her if her grandson wants some also. hahahaa....
Typical no manners Ah Soh. Kiasu attitude. Unfortunately many of such Ah Sohs are around every neighbourhood.
sasha - i tahan for a long while adi.
zara's mama - if not how to qualify as 8.
dragonmummy - she's so ancient, like 70+. she so thick faced, cannot feel it 1 lah.
pk - i doubt if she gvs her husband anything to eat. he's all skin and bones and she's damn fat
kw - her grandson already 11 u know.....
g - u mean whrever i move to oso got ah, sei lorrrrr. ur neighbour liddat 1 onot?
blueeh... i once have this kind of annoying 8-poh neighbour... always ask me why i gain weight la, why my face so puffy la, why today i wear black la... why this why that... damn cia latt her sometimes!
beh tahan! so 8 and show off for wat?
wait...how old is this woman? I hope she's still not breastfeeding neighbour's kids. Did she offer to breastfeed Malcolm for you? hahahahaa
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